I'm The Miz and I'm Cloned?
by Sanity's-overrated
Summary: This is pure crack and silliness written for a friend, more details inside...
1. Cloned?

**To better explain how this story came about, I am a senior in band, and my director happens to look like the miz. no joke he looks a lot like the miz, so after talking with my friend Selina about the striking similarities between the two I decided a story had to be written about the meeting of these two men. This is the result, it's nothing but pure crack, because we all know the WWE stars are not gonna flip out over a lookalike and hunt them down...*i hope* this is just for fun, and I must say i did have a lot of fun writing this. There's some slight Miz bashing at parts, but it's not cuz I dislike him *he's one of my faves* it's more for the irony of the situation so I hope you enjoy the fic :D**

**also it won't let me post the at symbol so i put (a) instead**

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><p>Mike sat at home cradling his championship belt as he re-watched his match from Wrestlemania XXVII.<p>

"Man I'm awesome," he mused as he watched Cena go down for the three count.

Smirking he spun the centerpiece of the belt idly as he reached or the remote to rewind the match.

His smirk was replaced with a look of agitation as his phone began vibrating.

'_Who dares interrupt Miz hour!'_

Frowning he pulled his cell out from his pocket flipping it open to see what was so important.

"IAmJericho: (a)mikethemiz Dude you've been cloned RT (a)Y2C_Zappy the similarities are striking... tinyurl/5xbtik"

Brow furrowing, Mike clicked on the link. Cloned? This had better not be one of Jericho's stupid jokes. But then again who was this Y2C_Zappy?

Finally the link loaded. Mike brought the phone up to his face and chuckled slightly. Hastily he sent a reply to Jericho.

"(a)IAmJericho ha cloned? Nice photo shopping Jerky."

Focusing back on the DVD Mike hit play, relishing at the sight of him delivering a running bulldog to John when his phone went off a second time.

Mike groaned he wasn't in the mood to go to another Twitter battle with Chris right now; he just wanted to finish the match and round out Miz hour with by watching himself defeat Randy at the Rumble.

Grabbing his phone he clicked on the missed alert.

"IAmJericho (a)mikethemiz: dumba$$, that's two separate pictures, tow different ppl…like I said, you've been cloned."

Shooting up Miz speed dialed Chris. No sooner had hello left Chris' mouth did Mike begin his assault.

"Alright Assclown, what game are you playing at?"

The amusement was evident in Jericho's response. "Assclown? No Mike, I'm afraid that' my line."

Mike was fuming. "The picture Jerky, what's the deal?" Miz snapped.

Chris laughed. "No game, I found the picture. She's right you know, he does look a lot like you. If not a clone, a twin for sure."

Mike sighed "so this picture is real?"

"Didn't you read the caption Mikey?"

"No," Mike replied resigned.

"That's her band director homie."

"What?"

"I said, that's her—"

"I heard what you said. It was a rhetorical question. By the way, never, EVER say homie again."

"Fair enough."

Pacing now Mike brought a hand up to his head rubbing at his temples.

"So where is this band director anyway?"

Chris laughed 'predictable', "he's in San Antonio according to that girl's profile."

Mike grinned; they had a show in San Antonio this Monday.

"Thanks. Hey Jerky, don't suck it up on Dancing with the Stars this week," he spoke ending the call before Chris could protest.

Spinning ht centerpiece of the belt again Mike got an evil grin on his face as an idea struck him.

This was gimmick infringement, a serious offense, he was sure of it, and there would be consequences.

Oh yes, consequences


	2. GforceJoy

**First off I have to give major props to the Rock, because I never realized how hard it is to refer to yourself in third person..it's tough and very awkward! secondly this part of the story is the introduction to my high school so there's some stuff you should know.**

**1. gforce, is a band event we do *has nothing to do with rodents like that movie* basically its TSO minus pyro...and lower budget**

**2. Johnson is my director, I'm Cassandra, and my friend *who inspired the story* is Sellina**

**anything else you need cleared up, just message me**

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><p>"What do you think you're doing! From the top…again."<p>

Grumbling rang out from the confines of the band hall.

It was a rather hellish week with Gforce looming around the corner and practicing being interfered with by AP testing. The last thing anyone wanted was to run Fiddler on the Roof again.

Whose idea was that for Gforce anyway? Nothing screams excitement and crowd appeal like Jewish wedding music after all.

Standing at attention the kids watched as Johnson counted them off for another full run.

Stealing a glance at the clock Cassandra smiled '_three more minutes'_

The run was shaky at best, improved yes, but still a rhythmical and dynamic mess. Rhythms were flipped or butchered, and key signatures completely forgotten.

Sighing as he heard the bell ring, Johnson looked at the kids holding instruments poised to leave.

"Pack up, go to lunch," he sounded rather bored. Obviously he was unimpressed with Monday's work ethic.

The kids could care less; they vacated the mat much in the same manner roaches scatter when the lights turn on.

"You ready for Monday nigh Raw?"

Cassandra looked up from where she was crouched putting her clarinet away. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she stood up smiling as she greeted Selina.

"Of course! The build up to extreme rules is ridiculous right now! Not to mention the draft."

Selina laughed at her friend's response, you would have thought Monday night Raw was planning on revealing the meaning of life.

"Someone's excited," she ribbed. "Could it be for CM Jesus or possibly Jiz," she continued winking.

Cassandra busted out laughing. "No Coke, Pepsi with the better than you crew," she replied.

"As for 'Jiz'," she continued. "You know how I feel about that, Johnson ruined Miz for me like Miz ruined my band focus."

Selina rolled her eyes "'Band focus' I wasn't aware you had any."

"Hardy har-har. Well why don't you try paying attention to count offs when all you can picture as he's holding that baton is him saying 'I'm awesome, be jealous'."

Laughing Selina nodded in agreement. "Fair enough, it's funny how much they actually look alike."

"Perhaps the government actually perfected cloning earlier than we thought."

"Ooh or maybe alien body snatcher."

Then Roswell actually happened."

"And water's their weakness," Selina added smiling.

"And OJ really didn't do it," Cassandra finished smirking.

Selina stuck out her tongue. "Smartass."

"The smartest," Cassandra spoke winking. "Well as lovely and as enlightening as this conversation has been on the government and its many conspiracies, I think we should head to lunch now."

Nodding in agreement Selina turned for the side door exit.

"After you," she motioned.

"Thanks, you're far too kind."

No sooner had the door opened did shouts ring out from the parking lot.

Looking to see what the commotion was, Cassandra gasped when she saw a very pissed Miz trudging across the parking lot with a bored Randy Orton and a protesting CM Punk in tow.


	3. Poking fun

**Gotta say my favorite part of writing this, well besides the destruction of my director, was CM Punk's off beat character, let's just say this is where the craziness begins**

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><p>"You there, what is your name?"<p>

Cassandra scoffed "You think you're the Great One now?"

Selina smothered a giggle. "It doesn't matter what you think," she whispered to Cassandra.

Miz was fuming, perhaps the Rock quip was unnecessary, but Cassandra couldn't help it.

Randy's face split into a grin that made Cassandra shiver. It was an eerie sight. The viper looked more ready to strike rather than give a greeting like the friendly gesture he flashed.

Clearing his throat Randy spoke "excuse my, annoying friend—"

"That's Awesome!" Miz corrected.

"Like I said annoying," Randy continued as Miz pouted. "You see he's here to confront a Mr. Brett Johnson? Something about gimmick infringement?"

Cassandra turned to Selina who was smiling. "I can't believe this is happening. "Turning to Miz she continued "you saw my picture?"

Miz's eyes widened "you're Y2C_Zappy?"

Nodding Cassandra replied "the one and only."

Face a purplish color, Miz went off. "Do you know what that picture did!" when he received a head shake 'no' he continued. "Jerky felt the need to RT your little picture and that action happened to interrupt my Miz hour!"

Randy's eyebrows rose at the mention of an hour dedicated to Miz. "You only have an hour? I like to dedicate a solid week."

"Shut up Randal," Miz shouted silencing the Viper.

"Now, now Michael, you know I'm the only one who gets to call him Randal," Punk interjected.

"Phil shut up, nobody asked you anything. Can't you see this is an important matter? Gimmick infringement is a very serious crime."

"Says the man who's currently ripping off Jericho's character," Cassandra murmured to Selina.

Randy grinned stepping forward. "I like this girl; she's got a good head on her shoulder."

Miz frowned, trembling slightly in frustration.

"You know what would fix this situation?"

"For crying out loud Phil, Pepsi is not the solution to everything," Miz yelled whirling to face punk.

"Why does everyone assume I'm gonna suggest Pepsi? And stop calling me Phil, you know I prefer Punk."

"Hypocrite," Miz mumbled.

"I'm sorry, we couldn't hear you. Care to repeat that 'Jericho'" Cassandra replied smirking.

"Oh yea, I definitely like this girl," Randy repeated.

Punk grinned "you know, I was going to suggest having a one-on-one talk with this Johnson guy, but Pepsi sure does sound better."

Miz looked at Punk bewildered. "Why did I even bring you two? You guys have been of no help!"

Sighing Cassandra turned to Miz "look, it goes against my better judgment, but why don't I take you to meet Johnson so you two can work this 'issue' out amongst yourself like grown ups."


	4. The Wait

Miz seemed to ponder the solution, weighing his options.

"Really? Michael just get this over with, there's a Pepsi throwback sale, and I don't plan on missing it," Punk hastily spoke breaking Miz's concentration.

Sighing Miz stuck out his hand "you got a deal" he however retracted his hand as Cassandra went to shake on it.

"What a heel," Cassandra muttered as she turned back to the band hall. "This way Jeri- I mean Miz."

The three superstars filed in behind the two girls.

"So band, what do you play?" Randy asked taking a look around the expanse hall.

"Clarinet."

"Both of you?"

"Yup," Selina agreed. "She's our section leader," she added pointing at Cassandra.

"Here, let's use the back hall, Johnson doesn't' really like us walking over the Gforce floor in shoes."

"Gforce? Isn't that the movie with rodents?" Punk questioned.

Cassandra shook her head getting ready to explain when she was cut off by Miz.

"Further proving my case that you guys are committing gimmick infringement. And that floor, it's a blatant rip off of DX's image." Miz accused.

"First off that movie stole our title. We have been doing Gforce for nearly 10 years, and now everyone will equate Gforce with rodents rather than our musical display. Secondly, yes the floor is green and black, and while DX does sell everything they can get their hands on, they do not own the colors green and black. That's free domain so suck it!"

Punk smiled "She has a solid case Michael."

"Shut it punk."

"Yep definitely like this girl," Randy spoke smiling at Cassandra.

"Now on to Johnson's office," Cassandra said pointing to the back hall.

The group followed her lead over discarded cases to the back hall.

Peeking around the corner she sighed, "Figures he wouldn't be here."

"Lunch?" Selina offered as a location for the missing director.

"Probably, he should be back soon though."

"He fled like a coward," Miz snarled crossing his hands over his chest.

"He's not that much like you," Selina retorted rolling her eyes.

Miz's face burned bright red as he began trembling again. Teeth grinding against each other he growled softly.

Randy smirked at Miz's response.

"That's fine, we'll wait for him," Miz declared plopping down outside the office door.

Punk looked visibly shaken by the remark. "Bu-but we can't. We're gonna miss the Pepsi sale! I knew I should have made you stop to get it first. Now you're depriving me. I NEED Pepsi, do you not understand that? My supply is low, I'm down to my last 12-pack." Punk continued on rambling about his lack of Pepsi.

Sighing Cassandra reached into her lunchbox and produced a can of Pepsi Max. Cracking it open she held it out to Cm Punk.

"Wanna split it?"

Punk's eyes brightened as he saw the can. Nodding furiously he reached for the drink. "There is a God!" Taking a swig he sighed contently afterwards "thanks, I needed that."

"Ya done with your meltdown Punk," Miz spat.

Sitting across from Miz, Punk stuck his tongue out "no need to be rude Michael."

"Well do you just want to eat here then?" Selina asked turning to Cassandra.

"Sounds good to me," Cassandra replied sitting down next to Punk and pulling her lunch box out.

Selina followed suit sitting across from Cassandra and Punk to form a triangle.

"So are we really gonna just picnic here," Randy asked crossing his arms over his chest.

Stealing one of Cassandra's cheetos Punk nodded "sounds good to me."

"Johnson shouldn't be much longer, right Cassandra?" Selina asked turning to her friend.

"Stop hogging the Pepsi Punk," Cassandra shouted in mock anger before answering Selina. "Yea, it shouldn't be long now."

Randy sighed finally joining the group on the ground. "Give me a cheetos then."

Laughing Cassandra passed the bag over to the cross-legged Viper.


	5. Johnson Arrives

The group was so busy laughing that they nearly missed the sound of Mr. Johnson walking into the band hall.

"Is that—"Cassandra hissed at Selina.

"Jiz!" Selina responded shaking her head yes.

"Crap! Hide the food," Cassandra hastily spoke moving the discarded bags behind the recycling bin.

Standing up and dusting off she peered around the corner.

"Hi Mr. Johnson, you have a guest who would like to speak with you."

As those words left Cassandra's mouth Miz suddenly sprung up behind her.

"Hello, I'm the Miz and I'm—"

Cassandra elbowed him before he could complete that sentence.

"This is Michael Mizanin, The Miz."

Johnson nodded a hello then motioned to the door. "Would you care to continue our conversation in my office?"

Miz smiled, evilly almost, before motioning to the door "After you."

Once Miz walked through the door Cassandra walked back to the group plopping back down in her spot.

"Jiz?" Punk asked raising an eyebrow in question.

Selina snickered slightly.

"Johnson + Miz = Jiz," Cassandra clarified.

Randy shook his head, "Are there any other name mash ups with us we should know about?"

"He's CM Jesus," Selina blurted pointing to Punk. "And well I guess we didn't come up with on for you, you're just always the Viper."

"CM Jesus huh?" Punk stated, "Alright I can handle that."

Just then the sound of chairs being overturned emanated from Johnson's office.

"What the hell was that?" Randy asked.

"Oh shit," Cassandra whispered. "I knew this was a bad idea."


	6. Confrontations

**This part was quite fun to write. also I'd like to point out that there really is a paddle hanging in Mr. Johnson's office..it's kinda creepy not gonna lie.**

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><p>{Inside Johnson's office 5 min earlier}<p>

Miz took a seat opposite of this Johnson character. Leaning back in his chair Miz leveled his gaze attempting to stare down this man.

"So, what brings you here Mr. Mizanin was it?"

"Please call me Miz."

"Well alright, Miz, what brings you here today?"

Sighing Miz leaned forward. "You and I have a problem."

Johnson's eyebrows rose up, "We do? And that would be what now?"

Smug look on his face Miz nodded "Gimmick infringement."

Johnson frowned leaning back in his chair, "I'm not familiar with the term."

"You stole from me; blatantly copied my image."

"I beg your pardon! I have never met you before in my life," Johnson spat standing up defensively.

Miz jumped up "Then why do you look like me! You even have my same sweater," Miz growled.

"I look nothing like you!" Johnson shot back

"Lies!" Miz yelled back throwing the chair backwards and lunging across the desk separating the two of them.

"What the hell are you doing!" Johnson screeched jumping out of the way as Miz crashed in to the director's chair.

"You versus me, winner keeps gimmick," Miz declared as he scrambled to his feet reaching for the closet thing, a tape dispenser.

"What gimmick!" Johnson questioned backing away from the deranged superstar.

"You stole my act, and now you pay," Miz yelled hurling the dispenser at Johnson's face.

Ducking out of harm's way, instincts took over and Johnson grabbed the paddle off his wall rolling away from Miz.

Standing up paddle in hand, he began to circle around Miz who was poised with a three ring hole puncher.

"You're fucking crazy," Johnson spoke as he dodged a swipe to the ribs from the office utensil.

Bright red Miz screamed "I'm not crazy, I'm the Miz and I'm Awesome!" as he lunged forward tackling Johnson.


	7. WTF

**Sorry this chapter is so short, but I didn't want to break up the majority of the fight scene**

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><p>Jiggling the handle Cassandra threw a kick at the door "Fuck! He locked it."<p>

Selina was standing next to her frantically pacing. "How are we supposed to get in? Miz is gonna end up hurting him."

"Stand back," Randy ordered as he charged into the door.

Punk stood unfazed sipping Pepsi "Must you always destroy something wherever we go Randal?"

Growling Randy launched himself into the door once more, this time earning a sickening creak as the door began to give way.

The sounds of yelling and grunting could be heard from the other side of the door.

"This is bad," Selina murmured resuming her pacing.

"Ya think! Johnson is gonna be so pissed!" Cassandra spoke fervently.

Charging into the door Randy finally succeeded and was rewarded for his actions as the door crumpled inwards.

"What the fuck…" Cassandra murmured at the sight before her.


	8. Smackdown

**I almost wish this were true, because honestly this would be the most hilarious thing to happen in the Band Hall hands down. I would like to point out that the comment about Johnson's slap being girly is because he is left handed, and everything you do with your non-dominant hand is awkward looking at best. And the addition of my other friend "Santos" *he's real name's alex* was simply to add to the gimmick infringement. the whole miz and riley, equivilant of johnson and alex, plus he's a huge wrestling fan and I promised I would add him since the story is dedicated to Selina**

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><p>Johnson had Miz pinned and was currently slamming the grand Mizard of lust's head into the floor.<p>

"Wow," Selina whispered stepping forward to stand next to Cassandra. "Who knew he had it in him."

Randy had his hands on his knees as he was now doubled over laughing.

Punk stepped up to survey the situation taking another sip of Pepsi he shook his head.

"Perhaps Vince hired the wrong person."

As those words left Punk's mouth Miz flipped the tables as he brought his hands to Johnson's head.

Delivering a head-butt he pushed the director off. Reeling slightly as he attempted to stand he shook his head before goring Johnson out into the hallway.

"Holy shit!" Randy yelled as he jumped out of the way of the two lookalikes.

Mildly interest Punk pulled out a set of headphones from his jacket.

"What are you doing?" Cassandra yelped in exasperation at Punk who was currently perched on the recycling bin.

"Commentating," he replied nonchalantly.

"CM Jesus flew over the cuckoo's nest," Selina whispered to Cassandra.

"Now welcome back to the first ever Band Hall Brawl. This matchup is one for the ages. In the tacky self promotion baseball jersey we have Michael Mizanin, The Miz. And in the preppy sweater vest we've got the bigot band director Brett Johnson!"

Cassandra shook her head in disbelief as Punk continued rattling off in an over the top commentating fashion.

By this point Johnson had kicked Miz off and was now reaching for the discarded paddle.

Seeing Johnson's eyes dart to the weapon Miz baseball slid catching Johnson's hand.

Recoiling in pain Johnson slapped Miz across the face with his right hand, looking somewhat girly and awkward.

Fuming Miz bitch slapped Johnson in return before picking him up and slamming him into the wall; sliding down the two resumed wrestling across the floor, each fighting for the upper hand.

Hearing the shouts the two men were making Santos walked around the corner.

"Oh mah God it's the Miz," he shouted seeing the Awesome one hitting Johnson. Then noticing the others he went on excitedly "And Randy and CM Punk!"

"Alex stop babbling like an idiot and get over here and help get this lunatic off of me!" Johnson yelled.

Miz instantly stopped his assault on Johnson. "You stole my side kick too!"

"I didn't steal anything," Johnson retorted before throwing a punch to Miz's gut."

Taking advantage of the movement Johnson scrambled to his feet before delivering a swift leg sweep.

Miz didn't get a moment to breathe, as soon as his head cracked against the floor Johnson began throwing kicks to the unprepared superstar.


	9. And the Winner is

**Seriously, the most fun I have had writing about band ever! and being a band kid, we use band in everything, almost any essay we get can be related to band in some way. This however wins hands down as the most entertaining piece I have written :)**

**Let the craziness come full circle!**

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><p>Hearing a groan escape past the other man's lips Johnson stopped his assault.<p>

Picking up Miz by his, now skewed, fauxhawk Johnson began dragging him to the door.

"Get the fuck out of my band hall you psycho! I didn't' steal your damn gimmick," Johnson yelled throwing Miz out on his butt.

Randy stood in the hallway arms crossed over his chest.

"Man, Mizanin sure can take a beating."

"Out!" Johnson screeched pointing to the door.

"Fine, not like I'm the one who gored you." Randy remarked walking out the door. "I did break that door down to get you, ya know."

Smirking Johnson stuck his chin out defiantly "Oh really? Now I know who to bill."

Randy frowned "Lucky I don't' RKO you right where you stand."

"Yeah, yeah whatever," Johnson spoke turning to leave.

"And thus concludes this battle of the lookalikes. Seems the Mizard of Lust was no match for the mighty baton toting director," CM Punk spouted off rounding the corner. "Join us next time for an edition of Band Hall Brawls. This is your host CM Punk signing out saying straightedge means I'm better than you!"

Johnson could feel a migraine approaching, pinching the bridge of his nose he pointed to the door.

Not getting the hint CM Punk wrapped an arm over Johnson's shoulders. "So Gforce, when is that exactly?"

Turning a purplish-red color Johnson pushed punk away "Get out of here NOW!"

Wiping his shoulder in disgust Punk turned to face the door "God, some people are so rude."

Shaking his head Johnson turned to head back to his office.

"What are you—" was all he got to say before being cut off as the devastating RKO was hit.

Standing over the fallen director Randy sneered at the man "A thanks would have been nice. Rude!"

Turning to the door Randy walked out picking up the fallen Miz and with the help of Punk began walking him back to the car.

Walking out to their fallen director Cassandra, Selina, and Santos stood looking down in wonder.

"Least he didn't' get the punt," Cassandra offered.

"Or GTS," Selina countered.

"Think he'll remember this?" Santos asked."

The girls looked at one another before replying in unison "Nah!"

Off in the distance of the parking lot as Randy buckled the incapacitated Miz in the passenger's seat Punk smiled brightly "Pepsi time."

Randy shook his head. "I'm surrounded by idiots."

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><p>You didn't think I would let Johnson get away unscathed did ya?<p> 


End file.
